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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
My girlfriend disemboweled my heart. She cheated on me with another guy. i was going to lose my virginity to her, but I guess i will have to keep it. i am hurt, very hurt. i have a weak heart, and it is very sensitive to pain. What can i do? i need affections, i have not been good for a whole week. i am still heartbroken. i need to find someone else, but i am one ugly monster so it's not too easy for me.. i wrote this poem here because I didn't know where else to display my feelings. Thank you.
nothing left - written with sorrow
this night, while i lay
i weep, i wail, i howl
for god to take my life
for my grieving to cease
for my suffering to end
death will ease the pain,
the pain from my heart being eaten,
and forever give me peace
i am betrayed
my life is walked upon, wounded
my virginity is kept
i am devoured
my very soul is taken away from me,
to which my true love consumed
i am emaciated
i wish nothing more than death,
to end my already dying heart
my haven is shattered
and my joy is vaporized
the future i anticipated,
is in flames
there is nothing more here
to look forward to
because there is nothing left
to look forward to
the only thing
to look forward to
is for the ever declining, of my life.
-unsigned
Dear unsigned,
Your ex-girlfriend is talented; I wonder if she could give me pointers on disemboweling hearts. My skills are not quite so advanced.
Your poetry is rife with delicious imagery: "death will ease the pain, the pain from my heart being eaten", "i am devoured", "i wish nothing more than death" -- it makes me swoon! Now, other advice columnists might try to tell you that your emotional pain will subside a little every day and that your disappointment is but a bump in the road of life. But you didn't write to those columnists. You chose Ghoulfriend because deep in your heart you yearn to become one of us. Your grief makes me weep with joy because it indicates that you're close to joining us at last, and when you do, you can begin your glamourous, new career as a jingle-writer for The League! You must act quickly, however, lest you begin to feel optimistic again. That would be bad. Never mind that there are women out there who don't care how you look, and who would love you for your poetry. We need you more than they do. Please stay in touch.
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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