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Hi Ghoulfriend,
I have this friend who I told about what a great job you and Spiffy did with helping me with my problem that he wanted me to ask for your advice about one of his own. You see this "friend" has been black listed since he wound up accidentally eating a bus load of hapless victims at the wrong job site. Yeah, can you believe it?! He was supposed to be slaughtering a bunch of morticians at an embalming seminar and winds up devouring a group of movie goers leaving the October 18th special screening of "Land of the Dead"! He couldn't have screwed up any worse if he planned it. The silly ghoul has been suspended without pay since then, might get kicked out of his union, and has been having more trouble trying to find work than a kid trying to build a snowman during summer in Arizona. Any words of wisdom for the poor dead sap?
Here's howling at you,
-AW
Dear AW,
I am aware of this incident and I can assure you that we have our eye on your friend. He is just the sort of self-starter we like and he will go far in our organization! He has most certainly not been blacklisted by The League of the Living Dead, nor by any of our affiliates. The shady little trade union he joined is not sanctioned by us, and we will deal with them at a later date. We take a very dim view of those who exploit and mistreat our brothers.
Your friend is obviously very intuitive. Most morticians are already members of the League and he instinctively realized it. I'm quite sure the group of movie-goers he devoured will be excellent revenants. Romerophiles always make the most enthusiastic zombies because they know exactly what to expect from living death. Many of them don't even need to consult their handbooks!
Please have your friend report to League headquarters immediately and we'll put him to work in our corporate office. And if you'd like to become a Werezombie, just let me know. We'll be happy to bring you aboard.
Love,
Ghoulfriend

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