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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
It seems that when I meet new people they don't like to hang out with me because I love horror movies. Nobody wants to watch horror movies with me so I end up going to see them all by myself. Am I weird for being such a horror fan??
-Dave
Dear Dave,
I can assure you that you are not nearly as weird as your friends who refuse to watch horror movies. Those types have always been a thorn in my side. We at The League adore people who enjoy horror films. We have found that mortal humans who love horror tend to be more sympathetic to our cause and are far less likely to come after us with torches and guns. Our main office always has a long line of live recruits, all horror fans, begging to be inducted. It (almost) warms my heart. When transformed, they're much more flamboyant and stylish than those who grew up watching only chick-flicks or musical comdies. You just wouldn't believe the training involved for someone who was raised only on Broadway shows. It is Hell on Earth! Horror films are the best recruiting tools we have, and we pay nothing for the advertisement. Our membership soared after "Shaun of the Dead" was released, and it's been climbing steadily ever since. That film did more for us than any other in the history of the cinema. Humans finally saw us for what we are -- lovable, reasonable creatures who only want something to eat. Is that so wrong?
Dave, simply put, your friends are losers. Walk away from them. Come and join us in The League. Watching a horror film is fun, but LIVING one is much more satisfying. Call for your transformation appointment today!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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