Ghoulnextdoor.com

The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Cryptozoology

Dear Ghoulfriend,
I just saw the movie "Boogeyman" and it got me thinking: is there really a Boogeyman?

-Stupid


Dear Stu,
Have you been living under a rock? Of course there's really a Boogeyman! I haven't seen the movie, but I have heard that it is a fictionalized account rather than a documentary, and that the real Boogeyman isn't in it. Given his timid personality, this is not surprising.

The Boogeyman inhabits the darkest spaces in your home. He is always there, watching you, but he remains invisible until he is ready to be seen. Although he assumes a corporeal form, he is not truly "alive", and therefore, he cannot die.

Many people have asked: "What does the Boogeyman want from me?" The answer is simple: He only wants attention and acceptance. He has been desperately lonely since the Boogeywoman was sucked into a worm hole several millennia ago. Since that time, he has tried to establish relationships with humans, but the results are always disastrous. He's always been painfully shy, and that is why he spends most of his time in the dark, exercising his power of invisibility. It normally takes him all day just to gather the nerve to show himself to the object of his affection. When he does, the person is either asleep, or, sadly, he or she dies from fright at the merest glimpse of the Boogeyman. No human who has seen the Boogeyman has ever lived to tell the tale. Even blind people are frightened by his voice, and they, too, die from contact with him. The poor Boogeyman has been much maligned over the years, but he means no harm. I have tried to talk him into visiting one of our clinics for cosmetic surgery and speech therapy, but he's very stubborn and he won't entertain the thought. He thinks people should accept him the way he is. While I agree in principle, the human psyche is simply too delicate to withstand the shock of the Boogeyman's appearance. There is no easy solution to the Boogeyman's dilemma, but no one can help him unless, and until, he is willing to help himself. If the Boogeyman is inhabiting your house, you might want to leave him some milk and cookies every evening to make him feel a little better about himself.
Love,
Ghoulfriend


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The Ghoul Next Door - Night of the Living Dead 's Little Zombie

Ghoulnextdoor.com

The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Cryptozoology

Dear Ghoulfriend,
I just saw the movie "Boogeyman" and it got me thinking: is there really a Boogeyman?

-Stupid


Dear Stu,
Have you been living under a rock? Of course there's really a Boogeyman! I haven't seen the movie, but I have heard that it is a fictionalized account rather than a documentary, and that the real Boogeyman isn't in it. Given his timid personality, this is not surprising.

The Boogeyman inhabits the darkest spaces in your home. He is always there, watching you, but he remains invisible until he is ready to be seen. Although he assumes a corporeal form, he is not truly "alive", and therefore, he cannot die.

Many people have asked: "What does the Boogeyman want from me?" The answer is simple: He only wants attention and acceptance. He has been desperately lonely since the Boogeywoman was sucked into a worm hole several millennia ago. Since that time, he has tried to establish relationships with humans, but the results are always disastrous. He's always been painfully shy, and that is why he spends most of his time in the dark, exercising his power of invisibility. It normally takes him all day just to gather the nerve to show himself to the object of his affection. When he does, the person is either asleep, or, sadly, he or she dies from fright at the merest glimpse of the Boogeyman. No human who has seen the Boogeyman has ever lived to tell the tale. Even blind people are frightened by his voice, and they, too, die from contact with him. The poor Boogeyman has been much maligned over the years, but he means no harm. I have tried to talk him into visiting one of our clinics for cosmetic surgery and speech therapy, but he's very stubborn and he won't entertain the thought. He thinks people should accept him the way he is. While I agree in principle, the human psyche is simply too delicate to withstand the shock of the Boogeyman's appearance. There is no easy solution to the Boogeyman's dilemma, but no one can help him unless, and until, he is willing to help himself. If the Boogeyman is inhabiting your house, you might want to leave him some milk and cookies every evening to make him feel a little better about himself.
Love,
Ghoulfriend


More Cryptozoology

Return to the Table of Contents