The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Higher Learning

Dear Ghoulfriend,
I am an unemployed female looking for a job, but potential employers tend to shy away from me. I have a lot of facial hair and a large wart on my nose. My two front teeth have turned black and I'm told I have bad breath, but I'm afraid of the dentist. What sort of job can I get?

Dear Fuggly,
Don't fret, dear. There are oodles of jobs for which you are well suited. Would you consider work in a morgue or funeral home? If I had my life to live over again, I'd go to cosmetology school just so I could style the hair of the dearly departed. It's a wonderful thing to send them off to the next life (or unlife, as the case may be) with good hair and nails.

If that's not for you, Spiffy's University of Cyber Space™ offers associate degrees in these fine occupations:

You can be trained AT HOME for any of these exciting careers! E-mail S.U.C.S. for a free brochure today!

More Higher Learning

Return to the Table of Contents