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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
My name is Jobeebel and I'm a minor demon from the Eighth Circle of Hell. As a demon, I suffer from bad breath and my human paramour complains about it incessantly. Is there a mouthwash I can use to rid myself of the embarrassing odor of evil?
Thanks in advance,
-Jobeebel
Dear Jobeebel,
This is a fairly common malady among your kind; the stench of sulfur and corruption permeates your bodies and oozes out of every pore. You could use a standard mouthwash or breath freshener, but that doesn't quite cut it, as your significant other can probably attest. The vapors of evil will seep from the depths of your diseased soul into your mouth where malevolence will linger under a thin veil of minty freshness.
I recommend that you request a transfer from the Eighth Circle of Hell to the Gates of Walmart. I know, I know, greeting customers at the door of any hellish establishment will take its toll on your sanity, but doing penance at a job of this type will reduce your overall evil levels and will improve your breath along with the appearance of your skin and nails. Hope that helps!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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