The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Dead And Loving It

Dear Ghoulfriend,
My ghoul friend and I are tired of the same old thing for dinner. Where can we find quality dining at a reasonable price yet get away from the standard flesh fare?
-Chompin' at the 'bits

Dear Bit-chomper,
"Flesh fare"- Ah!- the sound of it! I used to attend a lovely Flesh Faire just outside of Gstaad and the entertainment and comestibles were to die for (so to speak). They had to put an end to it because the locals finally caught wind of it (but only when it was blowing in just the right direction). Let me tell you, the concept of "angry villagers with torches" is not just a Hollywood movie cliche! But I digress...

Since I don't know your precise location, I will recommend a course of action appropriate to any locale. I don't know if you're at all interested in carrion, but sometimes it's all we have, isn't it? It can be quite tasty when aged just right, and I have found that the older graveyards (particularly the historic ones!) offer fabulous, romantic dining, gratis! They usually have little or no security and if you take along a sharp spade, you'll be fat and happy in no time and no one will be the wiser! Please remember to be good stewards of the Earth and leave only your footprints behind.

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