Ghoulnextdoor.com

The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Cryptozoology

Dear Ghoulfriend,
I know you have differences with the Jersey Devil but what's the deal with his lack of activity? For over two centuries good old JD has been stalking, haunting, and generally making the Garden State the Garden of Evil. In other words a place you want to take the family and settle down and lay some roots. He hasn't made any waves since 1909 which in itself must have been one hell of a year. Now I'm hearing and reading about Bigfoot sightings, hauntings everywhere and UFOs aplenty. Yet still no JD. You hear of footprints and strange cries during the night in the Pine Barrens but still no demonic denizen. Not the devil of old. This is the guy that would laugh as ships sank within sight of the sandy shore. This is the guy whose appearance is supposed to signal the coming of evil tidings. This is the guy that is supposed to be keeping things lively. Any insight on why our most monstrous resident is sitting with his tail stuck up his...well you get my point.
Devilishly disappointed,
-AW


Dear AW,
Though we've never met in the flesh, the Jersey Devil and I have had a contentious relationship. His formerly-frequent e-mails to me have been rude, infantile and somewhat threatening. It's quite possible that my associates have finally put him in his place, though if this is the case, I had nothing whatsoever to do with it, nor did I order his abduction, confinement, dismemberment and subsequent incineration. If that's what occurred, and I'm not saying it did, they acted on their own and I disavow any involvement in those events.

I like to think he's on a well-deserved cruise to Cozumel, snorkeling and soaking up the sun on a shell-studded beach. In fact, I'm sure that's where he's gone. It makes perfect sense, really. He probably grew tired of shoveling snow and scraping ice off his windshield and retired to warmer climes. Even by supernatural standards he's kind of a geezer. The flaccid antics of his youth pale in comparison with current events, and as a result he has become culturally irrelevant. Now he's just another sunburnt snowbird waiting to die. Let's wish him a speedy demise, shall we?
Love,
Ghoulfriend


Return to the Table of Contents


The Ghoul Next Door - Night of the Living Dead 's Little Zombie

Ghoulnextdoor.com

The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Cryptozoology

Dear Ghoulfriend,
I know you have differences with the Jersey Devil but what's the deal with his lack of activity? For over two centuries good old JD has been stalking, haunting, and generally making the Garden State the Garden of Evil. In other words a place you want to take the family and settle down and lay some roots. He hasn't made any waves since 1909 which in itself must have been one hell of a year. Now I'm hearing and reading about Bigfoot sightings, hauntings everywhere and UFOs aplenty. Yet still no JD. You hear of footprints and strange cries during the night in the Pine Barrens but still no demonic denizen. Not the devil of old. This is the guy that would laugh as ships sank within sight of the sandy shore. This is the guy whose appearance is supposed to signal the coming of evil tidings. This is the guy that is supposed to be keeping things lively. Any insight on why our most monstrous resident is sitting with his tail stuck up his...well you get my point.
Devilishly disappointed,
-AW


Dear AW,
Though we've never met in the flesh, the Jersey Devil and I have had a contentious relationship. His formerly-frequent e-mails to me have been rude, infantile and somewhat threatening. It's quite possible that my associates have finally put him in his place, though if this is the case, I had nothing whatsoever to do with it, nor did I order his abduction, confinement, dismemberment and subsequent incineration. If that's what occurred, and I'm not saying it did, they acted on their own and I disavow any involvement in those events.

I like to think he's on a well-deserved cruise to Cozumel, snorkeling and soaking up the sun on a shell-studded beach. In fact, I'm sure that's where he's gone. It makes perfect sense, really. He probably grew tired of shoveling snow and scraping ice off his windshield and retired to warmer climes. Even by supernatural standards he's kind of a geezer. The flaccid antics of his youth pale in comparison with current events, and as a result he has become culturally irrelevant. Now he's just another sunburnt snowbird waiting to die. Let's wish him a speedy demise, shall we?
Love,
Ghoulfriend


Return to the Table of Contents